Had a conversation with Oskar roomie from Swedish today. While cooking my dinner, he asked about my plan after my Master's degree, whether I will stay in Norway, or anywhere in the Europe.
Out of his surprise, I said no, unless I am pursuing a PhD or work in a solid waste management field in Norway. He was inquisitive, with the curious and doubting facial expression, and asked why? "Was it because of the people or friends?"
I was feeling that he was judging, as whenever he meet me in school, I am alone - walking alone, eating alone in the mensa cafeteria or be somewhere alone. He then asked about staying in austria and work (I had told him that I volunteered in Finland and Austria before). My quick response is a big no, never, in my mind, ever think about working in Austria.
Of course, I was telling him that summer in Norway could be nice, and that is the only season that I have appreciate when I was in Norway. The weather, winter and darkness are the main blaming factor and excuses that I have used. Period.
In fact, priority change. As you are aging, your parents, too. With my two little nieces, I just merely do not want to miss out their childhood. I used to think that I can be wherever I want, stay wherever I want to stay. Well, I think the best place for me to live is home - Malaysia, and I reassure about this, albeit the salary might be lower than the west. The rainforest, the weather, the warm and friendly people, my best friends, and utmost important, my family. I know I will be in deep regret if anything happen to them.
Of course, as an introvert, I do not open up to him (Oskar) fully, as I am not close to him. Our friendship is the very formal-like friendship, the formal greeting of how are you today, without much deep connection between each other, nor he share much with me as I can feel he is closing up too.
NEXT!
Westerners quickly assume that I will stay in their lands - who wants to go back to the third world after staying in the first world? Nice environment and development. This is the mentality of people that I have come across in Switzerland thus far (from everywhere in the EU, nor only limited to Switzerland); in Norway, no one assume this, or maybe if they did, they never question me.
The reaction here goes like "For real? Man, you want to go back to the developing world? You must be kidding me? I am surprise that you want to go back."
For this, if you make assumption about this, I am going to proof you wrong. The grass is not always greener on the other side, the grass is greener where you water it. For the west, independent comes first. I am sorry about this, this is not the virtue I am priorities nor pursuing for. Between selfish and independent, you have to clearly differentiate.
A little bit outrage on this.
Oh, yes, the next thing is you are rarely alone, but this could be the loneliest period that you ever have in your life. Maybe not for other, but for me it works this way. So many chat-able friend, but, never deeply connected.
